When simple things feel impossible… PDA isn’t defiance — it’s overwhelm.

My son can spiral over something as small as getting water in his eye.
Not because he’s dramatic.
Not because he’s “difficult.”
But because something in his nervous system suddenly says:

“I can’t. It’s too much. I need out.”

Last night at PT, it happened again.

A little water.
A missing towel.
A moment of feeling unheard.
And suddenly we were no longer talking about water —
we were fighting the sensation of danger his brain was convinced was real.

Transitions suddenly became impossible.

He needed to know how much time was left.

And every answer I gave was the wrong one.
You could almost hear his nervous system screaming:

“I want to go — but I also don’t want to go.”

This is the PDA profile in real time.

Not oppositional.
Not behavior.
Not willful.

Just overwhelm wearing a mask.

Why Low-Demand Support Works

PDA children aren’t avoiding tasks —
they’re avoiding the loss of autonomy, the feeling of pressure, the threat of failure.

Traditional strategies (praise, steps, rewards, “just try it,” even gentle routines)
often make things worse.

But I’ve learned something powerful:
When you remove the sense of demand, everything changes.

My son needs:

• choices
• safety
• co-regulation
• sensory support
• autonomy
• soft entry points
• space to say no
• tools that don’t feel like school

He needs support that doesn’t feel like a demand in itself.
And parents need tools that work in the moment — not after the fact.

How I Built a Low-Demand PDA Support Toolkit

After years of trial-and-error, reading research, talking to therapists, and watching my son closely…

I started creating small pages to help him express:

• how he’s feeling
• what support he needs
• what sensations are too much
• what possibilities feel safe
• when he needs to stop or restart
• how we can co-regulate together

These weren’t worksheets.
They weren’t assignments.
They weren’t even “tools” at first.

They were lifelines.
Gentle ways for him to communicate without pressure.
After sharing them with a few therapists and friends, something became very clear:

Other families need this too.
So I turned those pages into the PDA Support Planner™ —

10 therapeutic, sensory-aware, low-demand pages that support emotional regulation without pressure, praise, or compliance.

What’s Inside the PDA Support Planner™

• Today’s Vibe
• What Would Make Today Feel Easier?
• Body & Feelings Menu
• Possibilities
• Side Quests
• When Things Feel Hard
• Freedom to Stop / Restart
• Co-Regulation Menu
• My Safe Plan
• What Helped Today?

Every page is optional, gentle, and built for:

• ✔ shutdowns
• ✔ fears
• ✔ overwhelm
• ✔ perfectionism
• ✔ transitions
• ✔ sensory overload
• ✔ moments of “I can’t”

There’s nothing on Etsy or Shopify like this.
It was built for real kids in real moments of distress.

If You’re Parenting a PDA Child… You’re Not Alone

I know what it feels like to walk into sessions already bracing.
To watch your child spiral over something tiny.
To feel like every demand — even the good ones — can set off a storm.

You’re doing your best.
And your child is doing their best.

Low-demand support isn’t “giving in.”
It’s honoring how their nervous system works.
And it can change everything.

If you want to explore the planner I created for my son (and now for other families), you can find it here:

👉 PDA Support Planner™

Your pace is the right pace. 💛