In the Trenches

Line drawing of a brain with a flame, feather and arrow surrounding it. Flame symbolizing fight, feather symbolizing fawn(freeze) and the arrow symbolizing flight.

Understanding PDA: What’s Really Happening in t...

Kary Kalinowski

A gentle, real-world look at the PDA nervous system — why pressure feels like threat, how capacity works, and what helps kids feel safe enough to thrive.

Understanding PDA: What’s Really Happening in t...

Kary Kalinowski

A gentle, real-world look at the PDA nervous system — why pressure feels like threat, how capacity works, and what helps kids feel safe enough to thrive.

Line drawing of a stick figure navigating a tight rope.

When “Trying Harder” Doesn’t Work | PDA Parenti...

Kary Kalinowski

Parenting a PDA child means navigating overwhelm, shutdowns, and a nervous system that reacts to pressure — even tiny demands. In Part 2 of this series, I share what we’ve...

When “Trying Harder” Doesn’t Work | PDA Parenti...

Kary Kalinowski

Parenting a PDA child means navigating overwhelm, shutdowns, and a nervous system that reacts to pressure — even tiny demands. In Part 2 of this series, I share what we’ve...

Thought bubble with the words I'm Done

When “I’m Done” Should Be Enough — A New Year’s...

Kary Kalinowski

A quiet, honest look at PDA parenting — the pressure to push, the courage to stop, and what happens when we finally honor a child’s “I’m done.”

When “I’m Done” Should Be Enough — A New Year’s...

Kary Kalinowski

A quiet, honest look at PDA parenting — the pressure to push, the courage to stop, and what happens when we finally honor a child’s “I’m done.”

An autistic child spinning with joy.

The Appointment That Changed Nothing—and Everyt...

Kary Kalinowski

“Autism didn’t change my child — but the way people reacted to it did. The day he was diagnosed, I watched the world treat him differently, even though he was...

The Appointment That Changed Nothing—and Everyt...

Kary Kalinowski

“Autism didn’t change my child — but the way people reacted to it did. The day he was diagnosed, I watched the world treat him differently, even though he was...

The Night They Said Kids Were Safe — and We Were Rushed to the COVID Floor

The Night They Said Kids Were Safe — and We Wer...

Kary Kalinowski

When the world insisted kids were “safe from COVID,” my son and I were rushed to a pediatric COVID floor—hallway lights flashing past us like a scene from E.T.. He...

The Night They Said Kids Were Safe — and We Wer...

Kary Kalinowski

When the world insisted kids were “safe from COVID,” my son and I were rushed to a pediatric COVID floor—hallway lights flashing past us like a scene from E.T.. He...

Neurodivergent child swimming in the pool

Supporting PDA Children: What Actually Helps Wh...

Kary Kalinowski

PDA overwhelm isn’t defiance — it’s a nervous system on overload. Here’s how to recognize it, support it, and make daily life gentler for PDA and neurodivergent kids.

Supporting PDA Children: What Actually Helps Wh...

Kary Kalinowski

PDA overwhelm isn’t defiance — it’s a nervous system on overload. Here’s how to recognize it, support it, and make daily life gentler for PDA and neurodivergent kids.